Emergency Rooms

How can I describe thee...
the only way is nessecary.
Always risky in my line of sight...
but needed in order to get things right.

Not all experiences negative...
but in general medical knowledge and awareness imperative.
One must speak up and ask for explanation and reasons why...
before the 'Let's see' approach is by your side.

Yes, ALL must learn through a general sense,
of all medical variety, through testing and fence.
By fence I mean, a barrier a doctor or nurse must climb...
from the bottom to the top, locating the problem at it's prime.

At this point I've lost countof how many surgeries, in the mid teens I know...
but my medical awareness of body, mind and soul...
is still acute and strong as gold.

Like I've said before, knowlegde is key...
and will guide your gut decisions to the base of safety.
After the 18 guage needle and busted vein on the first IV...
I should've known to request the 20 guage for obvious hesitation I could see.

The fact alone I got them my records ready as I walked in the door...
continued to get perplexed facials from all who stepped the on the floor,
should have secured my mind that this was not the move...
though in the ER you should feel safe and soothed.

She took out my IV so I could travel an hour in pain,
to my surgeon who knows my medical and on the top of his game.
They tried the liable maneuver with the only option to sign...
'patient refused treatment' form to which I denied.

I had to advise the better EAP was for me to leave...
not to go home but to get treatment from my surgeon at a different facility.
Suddenly, option two appeared which was to sign what I said...
as I advised again they could follow-up but I knew at that point what was best.

Cat scan, MRI not needed, not infected...
just nerves blocked noticed by info and obvious detection.
Due to so many times I have had under the knife...
scar tissue, anxiety, and knowledge have become life.

With this one the wound is deep, the pain severe...
but my mind, body and spirit will continue to persevere.

T-sight...and YOU KNOW IT!

Dr. T

With his bedside manner just as sweet as can be... my little hatch comes in saying, "Hi Mama" as he rubs my knee.
With a sharp elbow to the breast by mistake as I rest...
just visiting Mommy in bed for 'Goodnight Moon' and hugs before bed.

Night, Night...and

YOU KNOW IT!

Day 1

OMG! The anxiety has been unbearable.

Now on day one the healing has begun.
Starts with gauze packing removal at one a.m.
again at 6 I am back for round two again.

The pain is breathtaking 'butt' I have had worse.

My lovely husband has been quite a nurse.

Although, overwhelmed he's doing good...

to make me smile and do all he could.

Tired, sore...time for a nap...

You know it!

My Turn!

The time has come I'm fucking freakin' out...
but things could always be worse without a doubt.

Number 16, I think including all the others,
but this one is the Mother.
Cutting muscle can never be fixed,
like a rubber band stretched, no good...to be nixed.

My Surgeon the BEST, Dr. Walters that is...
he is informative, honest and his heart wraps the rest.
I know I'm in good hands, surgically acute,
and look forward to less pain in the future to boot!

No guarantees in medicine as all should know...
but faith, positive attitude and karma does show.

At least I can see, hear, taste and drive...
and at least I am still alive.

Of course, I was challeneged with the biggest of all,
on a week where positive, focus and belief are not small.

Catdog's hair raises up and dander will fly...
with reason, despair, hurt and surprise.
The eye that is peeled will always make the jump,
to relax, focus and settle over the hump.

My Kids, My Husband, My Family and Friends mean the most...
like to all you try to be a good host.
To know one to the core and how they'll react...
is something no one can count on not even a rat.

Trust is like glass so treat it with care...
'cause once it's been broken it's sometimes impossible to repair.
On the flip LOVE is kind, well meant, sincere and persevered...
but must be cherished, balanced, respected and revered.

All my Love to my guys...

W, T & C

PS Mommy LOVES

The Morning Medley

Here's a little shot of the morning medley, followed by a shot of the 'Midday Medley"

That's what he likes so...there it is!

Usually there is also cantaloupe in this mix...

but due to a recent outbreak of salmonella or e coli we have refrained.

You should wash the outside of all melon thoroughly before cutting through.

This way you try to avoid contaminating the fruit when you cut through on the knife.

Fears and Tears

The fear is overwhelming...
the tears just stream and stream,

as the unknown, non-plan of my body,

is days away from further doom or lessened pain...like in a dream.

ALWAYS POSITIVE, I am for stance and state of mind...

but chronic pain and illness....will strip you of your stride.

For the first time, I am clear...

but so filled with such real fear.

Although I am ready this is the end of the line,

but a new chapter begins with sunshine in mind.

Things will never be quite the same but different at best...

but could always be worse, just be good at your best.

YOU KNOW IT...

TSIGHT '08

Peacefully Inspired

You know when you have had enough?

You know when you have seen the tough.

You know when it's time to move...

and always when it's time to groove!

It's always hard to determine when,
until one day you reach the end.

The end of days of just no more...
the change horizon sittin' at the door.

The courage, strength and determination at best...

to make the positive changes to settle your zest.

To learn it and earn it and share it's rewards...

will always open the positive door.

As I chatted with a stranger tonight amongst friends...

religion and beliefs pops up as usual again.

No matter where, when, with whom or the reason why...

religion and politics ignite sparks on the fly.

Just a mention as such, in the group I was in...

brought forth a 'Wicken' who made basic sense from within.

What I said was, "I'm not sure of the 'story' that is told..."

such that my views are confusing to hold.

Not everything makes sense all the time...

but if the ridiculosity ceases to shine,

peel it back and don't bat that eye.

With others, empathize with wide gleams...

but always observe the swirling mindful seams.

You will find your answers within the eyes...

the truth, sincerity, madness and lies.

It's your right and your business so don't be scared...

to notice, feel and be aware.

Knowledge is key as they always say...

it's your partner in life and will guide your way.

Crafty Cannon

Felt like a *WINNER* of a prize...VIP

Clearly understanding the baby's need to be!

No hassle like I thought in line with a tiny two...

but whisked in right away and warmed up by both you and crew.

Everyone so genuinely nice and helpful off the bat...

you made my day, through the daily tears of chronic pain that lasts.

My Cannon Bay was mesmerized just looking in her eyes...

though usually more timid and definitely shy.

He liked her right away and I think recognized her from the blog...

and maybe will remember as we capture with decoupage!

Thanks for PEACE and parting gifts like always a class act!

Thanks to...Rosie O

Bourne, Cape Cod Basketball Tournament 2008

OMG...the day before departure did I ever think my 'tush' was not gonna' have it!

The pain the worst it's been in months...with the drain drainin'. My husband and baby stayed home because game after game in a hotel was too much for me to handle with everyone. It turned out great however. We all got a break.

The East Haven All Stars did great with a few unfair snafoos...but we showed how it's done.

Here is a little movie I threw together of the trip. Most pics taken from the car, a few in Woods Hole, Falmouth , MA (at the Marthas Vinyard Ferry); the basketball court and the hotel.

The music is all I had available so a bit...you know...but maybe I'll change it when I get some new beats. Enjoy!

Oh well stand by... it won't upload for some reason...maybe too long...trying to split movie in two...hang tight!

You know it...

T-sight Productions 2008

TIME

Time is precious and never retreived...

but something to cherish and real to believe.

You are not guranteed tomorrow or even to succeed...
but be the one to try, hope, fail and believe!

Only when I'm dancin' can I feel this free...

At night I lock the doors so no one else can see...

I'm tired of dancin' here all by myself...

tonight I wanna' dance with someone else!"

'Madonna Louise Veronica Ciccone Ritchie'

-INSPIRATION-

PS...

Just got a shot of cortizone in my left big toe today and am so happy to put on the heels even if...laying down with my feet up in the mirror...notice?

Just to have 'em on was thrill enough.

I'll take a shot before more foot surgery...geez!

The Red Rover

Meet the Red Rover! He is my regular neighborhood cardinal.

I believe this is the same bird I have been noticing for a few years; but only recently have I noticed how much.

I have been noticing more and more the birds in my area. Considering that I am home so much and looking out my front or back window I have been wondering what all the different birds are up to.

This particular Cardinal sits in the tree on the back or on the electric wire in the front and chirps, chirps, chirps! Sometimes I mimick him and he gets confused and does it back, I guess thinking it's a female cardinal. I hope that's not mean?!? Wouldn't want him to think he's gettin' a date and it's only ME!

But then...there are the other birds. We have some endangered Egretts that live in the protected marsh lands at the end of the road but you never see them. They must hang by the nest.

Then there are the WILD PARROTS! Boy are they WILD!

Apparently, there was a truck accicdent on I-95 back in the 80's and these parrots got loose from their cages after the accident. They have since adapted to the Connecticut climate and have remained here ever since; even throughout the winter.

They have made headline news in recent years for making HUGE nests on utility poles (usually Electric poles...probably because the converter is so warm) that they have caused black outs, excessive squawking noise and basically more than a nusience due to their multiplication.

We have an Evergreen tree on the street behind us and it is filled with these wild green parrots.

They are aggressive, chase other birds out of the area and as stated multiply like wild fire.

They zip around at top speed in the morning 7-9 and then they disappear for the rest of the day?! Where are they?

The black birds are out same time 7-9 then dwindle off around 10 and are all sitting in the same big tree at twelve totally still. Napping? And then...they disappear again until about 4-6 and then gone again. Where? What? Why? What are these birds doing?

There are some more bird observations I've made that are quite interesting and will be passed on tomorrow. I'm sure once I google 'BIRDS' I'll get my answer but for now...I continue to watch and wonder!

25 YEARS LATER...

I HATE to do it but after 25 years I feel this is somewhat of an omen.

Madonna and Rosie are still BF's after all these years and for some yellow, red bracelet, astrological line up, karma or just will I have found myself on Rosie.com since she joined the view.

I find Rosie fascinating, moving, real, charismatic, friendly, strong, open but yet shy, compensatory, understanding and most of all loving. Funny thing is...I have been feeling the same way about Madonna since the day I heard her voice and even more when I saw her eyes.

That must be why these compelling, controversial and talented women have lasted as long as they have!

So, the CHALLENGE is to see if one of my many Ask Ro will reach it's destination. I'm not Kathy Griffin or anything...but if Ro could show Madonna Kathy's outfit, I would wish with all the SUN I can gather that she would ask/pass on my question? "

"Madonna do you remember writing me back a long letter I sent you to 'Private Eyes', in NYC just as you had gotten marrried?" I wouldn' t normally think that you would remember except that it was about ten pages long, addressed to the owner Robert, covered in stickers and had a self addressed stamped envelope inside that I got back a year and a half later!!!

I actually got mad and thought someone was playing a joke on me, unti I realized the notebook paper, Sean Penn's sig in green marker and my OWN handwriting on the return envelope.

Going in for my aproximately 15th rectal surgery at the end of April...boy oh boy would this make the tears a little bit better!!

I am funny and have a hell of a story that would bring me to Zimbabwe; where my father and his entire family live. That country for those of you who don't know is above South Africa, sharing the Zambezie River with Zambia hosting one of the seven wonders of the world... VICTORIA FALLS

Madonna adopted her son David from Malawi, above Zimbabwe, on the East side of Africa near the island of Madagascar.

Life is short and sometimes more full circle than you imagine.

I asked RO to ask MO if she remembers my letter of '85 which if you ask anyone who knows me, is my dream since then.

I would love to have lunch with Madonna, Rosie and combined friend of their choice!

It may seem corny but it's mine!
Bye-

Rock Band 12

12th Rock Band & Guitar Hero Birthday!

SocioEconomics

I never thought I would live to see the day where the American Dollar was not the strongest currency in the world.

My stepfather's Father, Robert Triffin was a Master of Berkley College, in Yale; and more recognizably a world respected economist. I wonder what he would think of the state of our economy and world markets today!?!

My Father lives in Zimbabwe where the dollar is practically worth nothing, due to the oppressive government from what I can see. Although, they have beautiful goods, natural resources and phenomenal African tourist attractions...it is somewhat unsafe and definitely unstable.

I believe we would all benefit from goods and services from other countries that have been oppressed for years, such as Cuba.

Competition is good, but 'NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND'...is leaving us behind the education of the other countries.

My 6th grader doesn't even know cursive handwriting because there is no money for that and the concentration is ALL on the MASTERY TEST SCORES; which results in Federal Funds for HIGH scores.

Just this year in our state of CT there was a town whose administration changed grades. Wonder why? The pressure of the scores itself I'm sure.

You almost wonder whose to blame. The Govt. or the Admin.? Cheating is ALWAYS wrong!

On the other hand most human beings are driven for one reason or another to do the wrong they do...unfortunately for them not making it right.

As they say, "Two wrongs don't always make a right!" And I can tell you this...revenge isn't always sweet. I have noticed people don't achieve the peace they desired as a result.

KARMA...however is a bitch! Those who do wrong shouldn't wonder when things continuously do wrong for them. Duh!?! That's not to say if you are perfect nothing bad is gonna' come your way but not in the negative back at you sort of way.

as NIKE would say,'Just Do It'!

Try to be RIGHT will you...?

It's no wonder people pay for private school. Higher expectations, smaller classes and the ability to mold their own curriculum.

It is also no wonder why the turn over rate of teachers is so high...poor salary for a job that covers the spectrum! Their not just teachers, they are parents, friends, nurses, crafters, social workers etc.

I bet if the teachers got paid more ALL the test scores would go up?

If we want to succeed as a future generation, we must invest in our youth who will decide how we progress or not in the future.

THINK! THINK! THINK!

Heaven

You know when you miss someone who has gone to heaven...

it makes your heart ache, your eyes well, two tears drop what the hell.

Just that quick...

you almost feel sick.

But just then you remember all the familiar things...

the smiles, smells, memories and such...so close you could reach out and touch.

Though sad, it's comforting to remember and feel the things...

your loved one left you before they took wings.

Nothing can ever take the place...

of your love's smile, laugh and face!

SMILE

Sending PEACE, REST and LOVE to Heaven...

Gramma 'Mimi' Lockwood

Grampa 'Bob' Lockwood

Janet Lee LaFlamme

Grandfather and Grandmother Mukwawaya

Deuce and Ace

Alison and Fresh

Marc

Nick 19

EROC

and this I do believe...fate brought me to a car accident scene on I-91 exit 8 in New Haven, CT on February 19...years ago...I can't even remember the year...however I will tell you this FATE is FATE and I am sure I have an angel on my shoulder. I always wonder if it was this beautiful girl I saw float away in front on me on the highway. I think of her at least once a week and I never knew her.

I went to the hospital to check on her and she was on life support. Her family insisited I come into the room and THANKED Me for taking the time to try to help her. It was too late. Nobody saw more than I did, which was literally nothing. Her car seemed to flip out of nowhere from the other side of the highway as I was driving by on the other side one exit from my house.

I went to her funeral and have been to quite a few in my time now; and have never seen a motorcade like this before. I am sure she is sorely missed.

I still cry to this day when I let myself think of what I saw that night.

I can at least rest knowing that someone, "ME" was there to give her a blanket, my hope and a prayer.

PEACE

KIMBERLY LALIBERTI

Waterbury, Connecticut